Jan 26

Hermeto Pascoal is another eminently bearded Brazilian you should be investigating through the majesty of the intarwebs. Hermeto is a jazz musician renowned for his ability to turn anything into a musical instrument.

In this video clip, we see Mr. Pascoal talking to his dentist, and then proceeding to swipe all of said dentist’s gear and make songs on it. He starts out with the ’saliva sucker’ and then eventually moves on to some of the more pain-weilding implements at the disposal of your neighborhood dentist. High-pitched whirring never sounded so beautiful.

I’d like to think that every time this dude goes anywhere he begins making music with whatever’s handy, like some warped real-life Björk video, only with more beardage. I picture him arranging puppies so that as he lightly smacks them they yip a little tune, or wreaking havoc in Bed, Bath and Beyond. Please Mr. Pascoal, we have to ask you to leave the wastebasket section and pay for your things. Here’s another video of him playing with an ensemble of seemingly American Apparel briefs-clad men, in what appears to be some part of the Amazon rainforest.

I think this is his most popular clip of him on YouTube, but there are many others to check out if it strikes your fancy. I recommend the kind of unbelieveable clip of him playing music with his own beard like it was a musical saw. Seriously.

Jan 25

Hey gang,
I’ve recently stumbled upon an incredible cult leader named INRI CRISTO. He is a Brazilian fellow who claims to be Jesus and he has a bunch of youtube videos up wherein some of his female followers are dressed sort of like nurses or flight attendants and sing popular songs with the lyrics changed to be about how great INRI CRISTO is.

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “Boy, I sure could use a zesty Latin American Saviour” then INRI CRISTO is for you. His sermons are in Portuguese and he sits on a throne next to a Brazilian flag. I already knew that Brazil had a first rate soccer team and a totally kick ass rain forest, but I had no idea that they also had the founder of Christianity. To help you take your first step toward mystical enlightenment, here’s the INRI CRISTO-fied version of “Umbrella” by Rihanna.

For some reason it’s just not as catchy as the original, non-cult version.

They also do “Toxic” by Britney Spears which isn’t half bad. They should do an INRI-fied David Bowie song, then maybe they’d make it onto the soundtrack of a Wes Anderson film.

If you’re really curious, they explain INRI CRISTO’s origin story in their version of “The Eye of The Tiger,” which while offering up a lot of information about their leader, disappointed me for not showing footage of either INRI or the girls drinking raw eggs and punching animal carcasses. C’mon cult people, you can do better.


WEBSITE: http://www.inricristo.org.br

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